Physical Renewal, Spiritual Renewal-and a bear really needs a doctor!
Ah exile to the coffee shop again--poor me! Coffee, CHAIRS, and a power supply so I can type--it's a tough life. ;) In reality some parts of uchideshi life are tough here, and some are not--the last few days have been drastically more relaxed than any I've spent here so far, and as I round out three weeks here and am letting my knee recover, that is a welcome reprieve.
This morning started like all mornings, with cleaning, but it was drastically later than usual at 8AM instead of 5:30AM. We ended up heading out with soshihan, but due to heavy rain we didn't get to hike a mountain with him. Instead, we road a train a little over an hour into the mountains and went into a traditional onsen (hot springs bath).
It's a good thing that I've had several cultural experiences like this already, so being naked with a bunch of other guys (including soshihan) wasn't actually that weird. The hot water was also quite excellent for my body. What surprised me, though, was how much getting out of Tokyo and into the mountains was renewing to my mind and spirit. I hadn't realized it, but the ability to be out in nature and recharge was mind-blowingly important. I can live in cities just fine, but I think constant exposure to people and energy with no chance to get away (except to places with more people) saps me very lightly. Over three weeks with everything else draining me slightly, this had added up, and getting out to nature helped lessen that load drastically.
What's more important is that I got some very good prayer and reflection time in a picturesque, recharging setting (in a hot spring with steam coming off it surrounding by classic wooden Japanese architecture as it sprinkled gently on a cool day). I found the prayer time to be particularly important in that it opened me up to some things I hadn't realized. With that type of environment I was able to quickly spiritually 'connect' with God in meditation and relax. What came to me were mostly impressions or feelings that are simple and made sense to me, but they are hard to explain to others, so I apologize at the rough stab at it I'm about to make. One of the first things I realized is that, though I have been praying, I haven't connected to God and relaxed in the way I was doing now in too long--the stress and busy nature of the days had left me quickly connecting and then disconnecting. That is not good at all--I'm only powerful in Christ when I'm connected more constantly or in certain instances in which He helps me out. I realized that I needed to be channeling this connectivity and awareness. There's an awareness that I'm sometimes able to operate in--it's kind of a listening state in which I believe The Holy Spirit helps us be connected with God, ourselves, and others better. In that state, I'm much more aware of others and how to 'blend' with them/love them. It is revitalizing spiritually, but it also takes a lot of energy/willpower/intentionality to maintain. I've been trying to operate in it more in my Aikido back in the US. Matsuda Sensei has a thing about extending not just to your partner but past them to the edge of the room and beyond. Aikido gets better when it's like that--and I find I can do that and even more when I'm in this spiritual state. I am, in a sense, 'listening' to my partners and those around me. Unfortunately, I've only been able to maintain it for a short while with a lot of energy. Still, this is as good a time as any to practice that. Not on the mats it is often easier to do and feels less taxing.
So, first realization--I need to stay connected to God more and channel that in my day-to-day and on the mats. The second impression that I got related to the first in that when I am centered in God in that state, I'm closest to my 'true' self. I don't know exactly how to explain that either except that it has to do with what mindset/perspective I operate in. When in survival mode, I may be focusing on similar things (how to get cleaning done and protect myself while practicing wholeheartedly etc.), but the reasons are all personal and somewhat selfish (to represent my Sensei well, others expectations, my expectations, etc.--they are all very about me and my). On the other hand, I just natively want to practice wholeheartedly when I am spiritually centered because it is right--I want to grab something to help someone because it is 'right', not because I 'should'. It's a very subtle difference that may not make sense, but it is real. One is focused on others and God and loving them and harmonizing with them and is real-time listening to them/the situation, while the other is thinking more about others expectations, which are being interpreted by myself and which don't require me to listen to them anymore. It is more disconnected. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I primarily operate out of a more connected state back home, but here due to the pressures I'd slid into survival mode more, which is not an accurate representation of who I am more of the time. I need to fix that.
I also had some good reflections about situations back home. I really miss my wife and am ready to be with her again--this trip has helped me realize just how much I want to be with her. I don't think I'll take another trip that lasts this long without her unless it is truly, deeply necessary for some reason. Shorter trips maybe--but not 7 weeks. It also confirms some other things that she and I are both praying about related to upcoming life decisions and ministry decisions. I can't go into detail on those until after I've talked with her once I'm back, but the reflection time on it was good.
Another thing I reflected on some the night before that also came back here is going to take too long to share, so hopefully I'll have time to post about it soon. It is essentially about how some of what I do in life is dead if it doesn't point towards Christ. More on that (and more photos) later once I edit this (and also why a bear needs a doctor--tune in later for that). ;) For now I have to head back because children's class is ending soon.
Ok--I'll add the bear that needs a doctor to this post and make the post about everything pointing towards Christ (and a few other things--including a terrifying image!) as another post.
After we hit the onsen with Soshihan, he left early and we toured the local town. We saw many shrines, hit a small shop (not the one with the bear), and headed back for kids' class. As we toured, we had a fair bit of fun, which included me noticing a bear with some things 'beared' that clearly were 'nuts'. If you look closely, I think you'll agree, this bear definitely needs a doctor! (I shared this with my uchideshi friends, and they got a pretty good laugh at it, despite the language barrier. Me making pained groans and shamble-walking might have added to it.) ;) Other pictures of the town follow!
This morning started like all mornings, with cleaning, but it was drastically later than usual at 8AM instead of 5:30AM. We ended up heading out with soshihan, but due to heavy rain we didn't get to hike a mountain with him. Instead, we road a train a little over an hour into the mountains and went into a traditional onsen (hot springs bath).
It's a good thing that I've had several cultural experiences like this already, so being naked with a bunch of other guys (including soshihan) wasn't actually that weird. The hot water was also quite excellent for my body. What surprised me, though, was how much getting out of Tokyo and into the mountains was renewing to my mind and spirit. I hadn't realized it, but the ability to be out in nature and recharge was mind-blowingly important. I can live in cities just fine, but I think constant exposure to people and energy with no chance to get away (except to places with more people) saps me very lightly. Over three weeks with everything else draining me slightly, this had added up, and getting out to nature helped lessen that load drastically.
What's more important is that I got some very good prayer and reflection time in a picturesque, recharging setting (in a hot spring with steam coming off it surrounding by classic wooden Japanese architecture as it sprinkled gently on a cool day). I found the prayer time to be particularly important in that it opened me up to some things I hadn't realized. With that type of environment I was able to quickly spiritually 'connect' with God in meditation and relax. What came to me were mostly impressions or feelings that are simple and made sense to me, but they are hard to explain to others, so I apologize at the rough stab at it I'm about to make. One of the first things I realized is that, though I have been praying, I haven't connected to God and relaxed in the way I was doing now in too long--the stress and busy nature of the days had left me quickly connecting and then disconnecting. That is not good at all--I'm only powerful in Christ when I'm connected more constantly or in certain instances in which He helps me out. I realized that I needed to be channeling this connectivity and awareness. There's an awareness that I'm sometimes able to operate in--it's kind of a listening state in which I believe The Holy Spirit helps us be connected with God, ourselves, and others better. In that state, I'm much more aware of others and how to 'blend' with them/love them. It is revitalizing spiritually, but it also takes a lot of energy/willpower/intentionality to maintain. I've been trying to operate in it more in my Aikido back in the US. Matsuda Sensei has a thing about extending not just to your partner but past them to the edge of the room and beyond. Aikido gets better when it's like that--and I find I can do that and even more when I'm in this spiritual state. I am, in a sense, 'listening' to my partners and those around me. Unfortunately, I've only been able to maintain it for a short while with a lot of energy. Still, this is as good a time as any to practice that. Not on the mats it is often easier to do and feels less taxing.
So, first realization--I need to stay connected to God more and channel that in my day-to-day and on the mats. The second impression that I got related to the first in that when I am centered in God in that state, I'm closest to my 'true' self. I don't know exactly how to explain that either except that it has to do with what mindset/perspective I operate in. When in survival mode, I may be focusing on similar things (how to get cleaning done and protect myself while practicing wholeheartedly etc.), but the reasons are all personal and somewhat selfish (to represent my Sensei well, others expectations, my expectations, etc.--they are all very about me and my). On the other hand, I just natively want to practice wholeheartedly when I am spiritually centered because it is right--I want to grab something to help someone because it is 'right', not because I 'should'. It's a very subtle difference that may not make sense, but it is real. One is focused on others and God and loving them and harmonizing with them and is real-time listening to them/the situation, while the other is thinking more about others expectations, which are being interpreted by myself and which don't require me to listen to them anymore. It is more disconnected. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I primarily operate out of a more connected state back home, but here due to the pressures I'd slid into survival mode more, which is not an accurate representation of who I am more of the time. I need to fix that.
I also had some good reflections about situations back home. I really miss my wife and am ready to be with her again--this trip has helped me realize just how much I want to be with her. I don't think I'll take another trip that lasts this long without her unless it is truly, deeply necessary for some reason. Shorter trips maybe--but not 7 weeks. It also confirms some other things that she and I are both praying about related to upcoming life decisions and ministry decisions. I can't go into detail on those until after I've talked with her once I'm back, but the reflection time on it was good.
Another thing I reflected on some the night before that also came back here is going to take too long to share, so hopefully I'll have time to post about it soon. It is essentially about how some of what I do in life is dead if it doesn't point towards Christ. More on that (and more photos) later once I edit this (and also why a bear needs a doctor--tune in later for that). ;) For now I have to head back because children's class is ending soon.
Ok--I'll add the bear that needs a doctor to this post and make the post about everything pointing towards Christ (and a few other things--including a terrifying image!) as another post.
After we hit the onsen with Soshihan, he left early and we toured the local town. We saw many shrines, hit a small shop (not the one with the bear), and headed back for kids' class. As we toured, we had a fair bit of fun, which included me noticing a bear with some things 'beared' that clearly were 'nuts'. If you look closely, I think you'll agree, this bear definitely needs a doctor! (I shared this with my uchideshi friends, and they got a pretty good laugh at it, despite the language barrier. Me making pained groans and shamble-walking might have added to it.) ;) Other pictures of the town follow!
Excellent and inspiring!! Thank you for sharing!
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