2 Very Different Classes--and Attitudes

This morning struck quite early after staying up late to post updates here.  I took a shower first thing (felt like a new man), and then I hurried and got around and helped clean.  To cause minimal disruption to the flow of the morning, I prayed while on the mats (we are done cleaning and changed 30 minutes before class--so rather than stretching I sat meditation style and prayed).  It was a good way to kind of invite God onto the mats and focus on the right things.

Class went very well--it was high energy and I got to work with several uke that I like, including Kevin san and Hiromi san.  I also got thrown a couple of times by Hiroaki Sensei--Dojo Cho here (his Aikido is quite excellent).  Despite a whacked foot, a tearing toe, and a sore wrist, I managed quite well and had a good time.  

After class, we headed out to get food at Kodaira station and then hustled to get to Kodaira Dojo.

(Food at Kodaira Station)

(Biking to Kodaira Dojo)

Once there we did our usual cleaning and preparation.  Class began as usual, but my body was not feeling great.  In addition to the aforementioned problems, my knees are rather stiff and sore (as are everyone's--I'm actually worried about O-san; he's only 25 and his knees are cracking and rattling and in obvious pain: he even  comments on it and he never complains).  I moved slowly to start, and then we began.  Most techniques went ok, but my right wrist started going downhill every wristlock that it took.  I also had less sensitive nages here.  What I mean is that in my understanding of Aikido, nage tries to blend with uke's energy, which requires paying some attention to and 'feeling' uke.  Some nage here do that very well.  Some just kind of do technique to uke without any real connection.  (More interesting reflections on that sometime later when I have more time).  I had several just doing the technique without connection, not quickly noticing (or not noticing at all) how early I was tapping on one side vs. the other.  As such, it was quickly straining my wrist.  I even had to tell one in broken Japanese that one side was bad to protect myself.  By the end of class, my body was a bit past its limit.

After class, like usual, we served tea and cleaned.  Then I headed to Tokorozawa to work (which I've been doing up until now) and rest my body a bit before this evening's classes back at Kodaira.  Apparently the other students on the Misubi/scholarship fund must attend all youth classes; as a traditional uchideshi I do not have to.  Since the kids classes involve being an assistant and not doing much Aikido (or much at all), I opted to not go so I could gain an extra hour or so of work time here.  I plan to continue to catch kids classes off and on to get more ideas for back home, but I've already gotten much of what I'll likely get from them.

What struck me as interesting was how differently the two classes went.  The first one was fun, enjoyable, and I learned.  The second was still fun at times and I learned some, but it was mostly just something to get through.  Though pain and desire to not get injured are real factors, I found it interesting that they influenced me to such a degree, and I'm also curious why it was so much more notable in the second class (I was in pain in the first class, too, but I kind of almost forgot that fact).  I think some of it has to do with instructors--the Kodaira instructor was primarily trying to get individuals ready for their belt tests and was working some snappier techniques because of it.  Also, the students that were there were generally more forceful individuals.  Still, though, I think the main thing was my attitude going in, which was massively influenced by praying before one class and not the other. I think I need to pray more often in my day to keep in the right mindset.  Even now, only 1 week into a 5 week stint here in Japan, I can sense two different attitudes wanting to be present.  

One side of me is ready to go home.  It will endure 4 more weeks just fine because it's stubborn, but it's gained a lot of what it is going to gain (the classes are already repeating techniques frequently, and this style has very little variation so I have covered most of the breadth of it per some of the other uchideshi).  It acknowledges that true transformation comes through time, repetitions, and daily practice, so it will still gain in strength and skill over the 4 weeks, but the pain and lack of sleep and other things designed to forge younger students are just things to be endured by someone who has already gone through similar experiences before in their Aikido journey.  One of the older instructors here who seems to be friends with Kobayashi Shihan, Barbara Sensei, said she has mixed feelings about people my age or older being uchideshi.  She said that in her mind she wants to see the uchideshi running around stressed, under constant pressure, being forged through the process--she indicated that if someone has already gotten reasonable experience under their belt then we've learned some of the things that teaches--how to push through when in pain, how to be calm under pressure and stress, how to stay centered and Aiki through adversity.  If we already have those, then something like this is ok but not really foundational or formational.  (I'm putting a few words into her mouth based on our breadth of conversation, but I feel that sums up what was a fairly long off and on conversation over class, tea, and shoto).  I think she also feel that it is unnecessarily humbling of individuals who have already achieved a fair bit in life, whereas I think she feels it's good for youngsters to be humbled (she gave an example of two business professionals being mistaken for uchideshi when they had been allowed to stay at one dojo and some of the confusion that created and clarifications to the program it made later).

The other side of me is still amazed that I'm in Japan studying Aikido, making friends and connections, enjoying new foods, sights, and adventures (check out this $3 meal I had at 7-11 today).  

It is excited to gain from each practice as my ability to do Aikido in this style does inevitably improve, and each interchange on the mat is its own unique chance to grow quite a bit (just the other day I figured out how to do their version of kokyoho number 1 (they have 3 common ones and more that they do) by it clicking somehow against a taller guy with some of what I already knew from my association (pinky power).  That actually got reiterated again in the second class today (the class that I didn't like) when it worked on a bigger fellow who didn't let things work if they don't work.

I think what attitude I have moment by moment will make this a great trip or one to be endured.  The same is true when it comes to seizing the opportunity to enjoy 'work' that I have leftover from when I left.  If I look at it as 'things to do that need done', I can get them done.  If, however, I reflect that these items will actually help others back home, I get excited to do them and want to do them.  

I think having that correct perspective and practicing maintaining that under pressures that I've experienced before is really where this trip will help forge me.  I think that will also be a good place for some real reflection on what is beneficial back home and what is draining life out of me and Tella to where we should focus energy elsewhere.  Please keep us in prayer over this time, and thanks again for reading/staying up to date!